The Other "F" Word: How to Begin to Forgive the Unforgiveable?

If you’re like me, you have had to do a LOT of forgiving in your life, of yourself and others.

We know the drill: Acknowledge the offense, think about what you can do differently in the future, and move on.

In the wise words of Maya Angelou, “When you know better, you do better.”

But what do we do with the BIG ones?! The offenses that change our lives forever.

Divorce that changes the trajectory of our lives.

The assault that keeps us vigilant in broad daylight.

The abandonment that holds the key to our trust.

The infamous quote of Lewis B. Smedes states, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that prisoner is you.”

But, where do we even begin? How do we start the process of forgiving?

On a recent podcast episode of The Sinner and The Saint, we chatted up the topic of forgiveness. Here are a few tips to help us navigate these tricky waters:

Forgiveness is not a one-time decision; it is a process that takes time.

Forgiveness is NOT a stamp of approval; it does not condone their actions.

Forgiveness does not always end in reconciliation.

Forgiveness requires God. We can forgive on the surface, but we need God to heal our hearts and souls.

Forgiveness is an act of mercy. We choose to forgive because of God’s mercy to us.

In my study this morning, I stumbled across Paul’s prayer for the church in Ephesians 1. As I read the words, I couldn’t help but think of a particular offense I am in the process of forgiving. The offender is not a believer and will likely never apologize.

“May God give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people and in His incomparably great power for us who believe.”

For me, forgiveness begins with this prayer.