Throwing a Tantrum...
I still think I had every right to throw a tantrum, and when I say tantrum, I mean full-on toddler mode, clenched fists, and foot stomping included. My husband and I were touring Austin, our soon-to-be place of residence, and I desperately wanted to support my husband and be THAT wife. The supportive wife who takes everything in stride with a smile plastered on her face, but I’m not wired like that. I am an independent woman with an amazing job that I love that just happens to love my home, my friends, my life…I digress.
So, I held it all together throughout the first 24 hours, the delayed flights, lost luggage, even meeting the new co-workers with my 14-hour old make-up and wrinkled traveling clothes. The next morning, we hit the ground running with lists of houses and towns we wanted to explore. We drove for hours and had a fantastic time, but I felt the cynicism creeping in. Pretty soon, I was tired and hungry, which is a recipe for disaster--or in this case, a toddler tantrum.
I found myself alone for a few minutes and began the conversation with God rather calmly, but it quickly escalated. Some highlights were...
Why me? I am working for YOUR kingdom! Our kids don’t deserve this! You brought us out here, so where are we supposed to live…huh?! Where will YOUR will be done, so I can get back home to NC?
It was pretty ugly and the response I received was well deserved…
It took you eight years to figure it out in NC…do you remember Moses and the wilderness? Don’t you think I love your children more than you do? I created them!
So, I did what any upstanding toddler would do. I sat in silence pouting, because I knew He was right.
In three weeks, we will uproot our family of six and move to an unfamiliar town and start all over. Am I scared? Heck yeah…I’m terrified! But there’s a little part of me that looks back and sees all of the things God has done in my life, and I am afraid of missing out on something great! If God is deploying us to another town, this has got to be good…I’ll keep you posted!
-Melissa