The Journey to Unbecoming

I’m not sure where we learn them all, the unspoken expectations we live and die by. Some are learned from family, others are spoken from the pulpit, screamed from billboards and media outlets. The expectations may seem daunting at first, even offensive at times, but somewhere along the way we tuck them inside and they become a part of our identity.

We hold true to this identity, building upon it, forgetting that we weren’t born like this; we accepted it. We chase dreams cast by other people and align our moral compasses with their own. It’s easier to go with the flow than to fight the current.

Before long we have allowed other’s opinions to mold the way we live, what we believe, and what we stand for. Never taking a moment to gather our own thoughts and ideas, we trudge on with the crowd; it’s busy and loud, but isn’t that what success looks like in today’s world?

We find our voice and begin to proclaim these “truths” over our own lives and declare them to all who will listen, never once stopping to analyze their origin. We pass them down to our children as we teach them to speak up for what they believe in…what we believe in.

Then one day the opposition stands at our doorstep, knocking relentlessly, refusing to conform to the way it has always been. It comes in many forms, the tattered heart of a friend, a weeping teenager curled up in our arms asking for acceptance; we’re all one phone call away from our knees.

At first, we can tune it out with busyness and denial. Still knocking. We try to explain it away to no avail. Our second-hand experiences and borrowed identities won’t hold up against the barrage of questions and declarations. If only we had taken the time to think for ourselves, do a bit of our own research.

From the chaos and confusion, a personal revolution erupts as we embark on a journey of self-exploration; peeling back the layers of our borrowed identities, beliefs, and expectations. Shutting out the noise, sitting in the quietness of our souls, taking inventory, and deciding what to do with each extraction.

“Searching, praying, weeping, releasing…this is where we will find the peace that surpasses all understanding. - Melissa Bell”

Unapologetically, we emerge; full of wisdom, unwavering confidence and love.